| S A T U R D A Y, J U L Y 8, 2 0 0 6
|
| T H E R E A L E S T A T E C E N T E R
|
 |
 Real Investigative Reports
 When we saw that story in the LA Times about a new study calling Cincinnati the second most expensive city to do business (just in front of New York City), we asked Fearless Ferrett, our Whistleblower Truth Squad Investigative Reporter, to give us a full report.
Fearless wonders if it’s because of the high crime rate. Is it because of the increasing number of all those great social services opening downtown? Is it because all those so-called Chambers of Commerce haven’t a clue to recruit or retain business, let alone any plan?
Has even one of those Chambers of Commerce ever formulated a strategic plan for attracting businesses? And just what kinds of business are they attempting to attract and what efforts are being made to attract them? Do any of those guys even have a budget for attracting and retaining business to Cincinnati?
What political power has any of those Chambers wield in terms of taxation on business? Have any of those Chambers publicly called for lower taxes for Cincinnati, even once?
Why is Northern Kentucky gaining business while Cincinnati is losing (look at Main Street)
Do any of those Chambers sponsor business incubators?
Do any of those chambers produce measures for how well businesses are doing or study the economic conditions in Cincinnati?
Do any of those Chambers of Commerce even have a list of what businesses are in our city, or any other kind of business inventory?
Has any of those Chambers even studied what businesses would be a good fit for our city?
What have all those Chambers done to stop illegal CD street vendors and promote for-profit vendors that sell legitimate CDs?
Do any of those Chambers act with transparency? Does anybody have a clue what they are working on?
Maybe it's high time that we begin to ask what all of those Chambers of Commerce are really doing for your business. How do they really use your money to promote your business or attract new businesses?
You can blame our Nine Fine Clowns and our Girly Man Mayor because they're easy targets, but the Chambers of Commerce have some duty to the businesses they claim to represent. Exactly what freaking role are they playing?
Anyone driving, walking or jogging down Erie Avenue in Cincinnati's Hyde Park neighborhood cannot miss the emerging eyesore. It is Clark Montessori School, where the once-engaging sign at the entrance is nearly covered by weeds, where the stairways off the street are nearly overgrown by brush, honeysuckle and poison ivy, and where the new athletic field has a straggly, unmowed lawn next to the parking lot.
The school is one of the Cincinnati School District's best performing, but the grounds are increasingly unkempt. By all appearances, the place is beginning to resemble a shabby Third World site.
Where's the pride? If the district's brass under Mrs. Buckwheat can't keep a place like Clark somewhat spic and span, after all it's a great school and an asset that has kept families and kids in the city, what hope is there for the future?
The sad look at Clark this summer is shameful. The mayor ought to be on the phone, kicking butt. The Chamber of Commerce ought to be yelling. Boob Taft, if he drives by while visiting his old neighborhood, should go ballistic.
The clueless educRATS at school headquarters can't keep the grass cut, the weeds under control, the poison ivy vines sprayed. But they sure want your money, promising to spend it wisely on schools that will lure people back into Cincinnati. That may be pure bunkum.
Take a look this summer the next time you are driving down Erie Avenue. Clark Montessori, What a great advertisement!
 According to NewsMax.com, Rush Limpboy claims he was targeted by U.S. Customs agents when he got picked up for trying to smuggle Viagra into the county, but our award-winning illustrator Artis Conception is more cynical with his take on the story.
Following up Metro Mole's report on circulation at the Morning Fishwrap, two of our more astute readers discovered another grammatical error made by Skaggie Maggie's invisible editor-in-chief (Mis-using the word "their" when it should've been "there"), and Dan from Delhi wonders how much of the "increase" in circulation comes from all the free papers they've been delivering lately?
Of course, even if you sign up for a freebie, it doesn't mean you'll always get the paper when promised. Dan tried a four-week Thursday-Sunday freebie. He only got the paper half the days, and now the freebie is over and he still sometimes finds it on his driveway, and it straight to the Rumpke recycle bin with the wrapper still on it.
Did Mean Jean Schmidt really go whining to her friends at Channel 9 when somebody vandalized her prized anti-abortion signs on her family farm in Clermont County? We're surprised That Lying Bitch didn't blame Revered Congressman Bob McEwen, Anderson Trustee "In Russ We Trust" Jackson, Temporary Hamilton County GOP Chairman George Vincent, "TaxKiller Tom" Brinkman, Duffy "The Schmidt Slayer" Beischel, Family Friendly Fascist Chris Finney, and The Blower.
Speaking of our Family Friendly Fascist, Finney will be lead counsel on July 13 at Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane's Landmark Hearing at the always fair, open, and honest Hamilton County Auditor's Board of Revulsion after Jeff Nieman, our Disingenuous DemocRAT Auditor's "certifiable" appraiser got caught with his contrived bureaucratic attempt to justify the Auditor's arbitrary 41% computer-generated increase.
 Finney plans to introduce evidence that last year both the Hamilton County Prosecutor and the Auditor had told Kane the value of Kane's property should've been REDUCED (not increased), especially after Brayshaw's Bunglers butchered Kane's historic landmark bushes on Birney Lane.
The County Engineer was really embarrassed; he even invited Kane to be his honored guest at his annual summer soiree at the Boathouse. Say, isn't this year's Brayshaw Blowout at the Boathouse coming up soon? You don't suppose the Auditor told the Engineer not to invite Kane this year, do you?
With their 50th Reunion coming up in only 77 more days, are members of the Forrest Gump High School Class of 1956 planning to hold their meeting at Kane's house later this month to see if Brayshaw's Butchered Bushes ever grew back.
Our good friend Bobby Leach says: If someone calls to report a topless woman and "at first mistook her for a log," that doesn't say much for the woman's figure...
Speaking of that, and following up on yesterday's big story about the Cornhole contest in Springfield Township, our Blue Chip Young Republican Snitch (probably James "The Rock" Bogen wonders if the event is being co-sponsored by the Log Cabin Republicans.
One of the other horny members says, "Sorry, guys, our Blue Chip heartthrob Crista Criddle is married. But the club's "president" Betsey Sundermann is single, and a total hottie and never would’ve been reported to Bobby Leach. If she weren't so committed to spending the entire summer getting imbibing, the club might get around to hosting an event where guys could meet her and some of the other conservative cuties. To give you an idea of just how fun the club could be, Betsey and her sidekick Corie Roudebush once wore Hustler t-shirts to a Blue Chip meeting when Phil Burr-Ass was the speaker."
Our Paul Reveres on Motorcycles on their way directly from Denver to warn us next week about the illegal alien invasion will be Chicago today. At least they finally appear to be headed in the right direction.
Bluegrass Blowhards
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the best part about the Fourth of July Parade in Fort Thomas was seeing Governor Ernie, Goof Doofus, and Safari Ken all walking in the rain.
Miss Vicki says Michael Liquid Plummer has lost what's left of his mind trying to figure out who's been ratting him out to local bloggers. He seems to think it's just a handful of people, but in reality it's dozens or more. Just a few people on the list are: the members of two city councils, two local mayors, the residents of Wallace Woods, several disgruntled bankruptcy clients, the Beechwood PTSA, several Fishwrap staffers, at least one member of the Kentucky Real Estate Commission, several home builders, a funeral director, as well as members of the Metropolitan Club and the Fort Mitchell Country Club. With friends like these, Plummer doesn’t even need all those enemies?
One of the CamBoozler's best snitches says several people he knows are requesting e-mail subscriptions because they can no longer find the Blower on line. Let's see: when you go to our old e-mail address at BlueChipReview.com, it says: You can now find the online version of the Whistleblower Newswire at Cincynation. Maybe those folks should update their favorites.
Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball says you know it's going to be a long season for the Reds, when the only guy in their bullpen who struck anybody out this week gets sent down to the Minor Leagues. Maybe that third degree sexual assault had something to do with it.
Local reporters are looking to see if Ken "Publicity Stunt Runt" Easterling had anything to do with his arrest. Chris Henry reportedly called the jail to thank Shackelford for taking some of the heat off him.
 REMEMBER: If you can't improve on the news, you
shouldn't even be reporting it.
Got a dirty little secret that’ll ruin somebody’s reputation?
e-mail your snitches and bitches to whistleblower@cinci.rr.com
|
 See some of the best local newslinks (as well as today’s Blower)
can be seen at CincyNation
|
< BACK to CincyNation homepage
|
