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| T H E R E A L E S T A T E C E N T E R
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 Politics and Patriotism
Our Founding Fathers have been spinning in their graves ever since the Supreme Court failed to take a strong stand on the Pledge of Allegiance.
If they were alive today on Independence Day and saw how this nation has become a feckless flock of dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, politically-correct, celebrity-obsessed, government-dependent sheep, we wonder if they'd ever do it all again.
With that in mind, we're pleased once again to bring you this commentary on their sacrifice.
Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence?
Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army, another had two sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated. But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward. Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.
At the Battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart. Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.
Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more.
Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged: "For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."
They gave you and me a free and independent America. The history books never told you a lot of what happened in the Revolutionary War. We didn't just fight the British. We were British subjects at that time and we fought our own government! Most of us take these liberties so much for granted...We shouldn't.
So, take a couple of minutes while enjoying this 230th Fourth of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. And while you're at it, thank all our brave men and women fighting terrorism around the world to help keep you safe at home. It's not too much to ask for the price they're paying.
 Author Unknown: Portions of this essay have been bouncing around the internet for quite a while. (Rush Limbaugh even claims his dad wrote it, if you can believe that.) One thing's for sure, you'll never see any of this truly patriotic stuff being reported by our Kneepad Liberals in the Press.
 How to Show Your Patriotism
Many ordinary Americans are now looking for a way to show their patriotism on Independence Day. But even if you can't join the Marines, you can still show your patriotism by kicking somebody's well-deserving ass, right here at home. For example:
 If you see an adult talking while they're playing the National Anthem, kick his ass.
If you see someone burning the American Flag in protest, kick his ass.
When a quagmirist sends you an e-mail telling you the latest count of how many dead and wounded Americans there've been in Iraq and asks "Is it worth it?, kick his ask."
If you see a left-wing editorial cartoonist denigrating the military, kick his editor's ass.
If you meet somebody from France or Germany, whose countries cost American lives by aiding and abetting Saddam at the UN, kick his ass. And if you see people buying French and German products in the stores, kick their asses.
If you meet a whiny protester who says "But we didn't find any weapons of mass destruction," offer him a nice cup of shut-the-fuck-up and then kick his ass.
If you read a letter to the editor from somebody mocking service in National Guard, find out where that person lives, get a bunch of weekend warriors, and go kick his ass.
If you see an elected official protesting the war, don't wait till the next election to kick his ass, go to his office today and kick his ass.
Regardless of the rank they held while they served, veterans deserve your highest respect. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these men and women fought for the very freedom they bask in every second of their lives. Enlighten them about the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then help hold them down while the veteran kicks his ass.
If you weren't in the military, don't pretend that you were. Don't tell people you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been OK if you were still seven, but now it will only get your ass kicked. (Veterans are exempt from this rule.)
When you meet an Air Force member, don't ask him, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass kickin' (children are exempt).
Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem wasn't a blooper. It was a disgrace. If you think it was funny, sooner or later you'll get your ass kicked.
Next time Old Glory passes by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage by placing your hand over your heart and quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her. Failure to do either of those will earn you a severe ass kicking.
What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. The proper word to describe her is "traitor." (All celebrity war protesters deserve to get their asses kicked, especially John Kerry.)
Stop asking where Osama is. Crystal balls aren't standard issue in the military. And if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let us know, so we can kick his ass.
Finally, whether or not you ever become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. On every paid holiday and religious occasion you enjoy with your family and friends, please remember that there are hundreds of thousands of troops overseas wishing they also could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. We should honor them for their service to our country. Without them, our country would surely get its ass kicked!
 Now to express her patriotism, we have today's editorial reply from Conservative Critic Will duRant IV's wife Emily:
What's this I hear about people celebrating "In Depends Day?"
Who would EVER want to CELEBRATE going around in DEPENDS?
I mean, it's ONE thing to get your TEETH whitened.
Or get your TITS and ASS fixed.
Or a KNEE replaced.
But what in the WORLD is there to CELEBRATE about Depends?
That you can't help PEEING your PANTS?
When did THAT become something to celebrate?
You look around, though, at what people DO celebrate these days.
Some celebrate EARTH Day. Celebrating EARTH? I've got earth in my BACK YARD. You want earth? You come on over to my place and I'll GIVE you a FLOWER pot full. There's plenty to go around. Why they have to CELEBRATE it just makes NO sense.
Another one is when you die, they REALLY celebrate.
They celebrate the LIFE of the person who just DIED.
Now I ask you, does THAT make any sense to YOU? I mean, the person is right there, in a casket, or maybe in a little biddy teeny tiny urn they paid big BUCKS for, DEAD as a DEER in Indian Hill, and all these PEOPLE come to CELEBRATE. What am I MISSING here?
But the one that REALLY gets me is what those GAYS celebrate. They celebrate PRIDE. They call it GAY pride. Yeah, really, they celebrate that.
Now I ASK you, just WHAT is there to be so PROUD of?
Anal sex? Dildos?
I guess that broad in Loveland -- heh-heh, snort, snicker, heh-heh, my little joke there -- is proud of HER anal sex toys and Darla's Dainty Dimpled Dildos.
But she makes MONEY selling that stuff. SHE probably CELEBRATES all the way to the BANK every DAY. Just who ELSE would be proud of THAT stuff is just beyond me.
It's just like celebrating IN DEPENDS Day.
It doesn't make ANY sense at all.
If it makes sense to YOU, well, then, you let me know WHY.
And if it DOESN'T make any sense to you, either, well, just NEVER MIND.
Emily Litella (Mrs. Will) duRANT
Finally, since tomorrow's Independence Day, where founding of that obscure Northern Kentucky City has actually become a national holiday, we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
 Tuesday's the Fourth of July,
When all the flags will surely fly.
In the fireworks bright glow,
The girlies will show,
All their goodies raised up real high.
(And that's why we never miss a parade.)
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